Never Tickle a Sleeping Demon

And with a mighty cry, the great Demon King was brutally usurped from his royal perch. The anguished scream was heard throughout the quarters as he was banished from his resting bed. He landed on the stone with a thunk. Yuuri lay back on the hard stone in dazed confusion. He grunted as he righted himself, and sat up straight on the stone floor. Darkness and moonlight filtering through the glass windows and blinds, and he looked confusedly about.

"What happened… oh man, not again!" the boy groaned and ruffled his hair. "That's the third time this month!"

His Majesty looked behind him to see his royal bed, and his eyes glowered when he spotted the second body. The offending foot resting boldly out from under the blue covers, and he glared past it to look at the cherubically serene face sprouting from the frilly pink nightgown.

"You're such a wimp…" the angelic face muttered in sleep, "You weirdo…"

Yuuri quickly seethed and rose to his knees, intoning his irritated displeasure. "Wolfram…"

'I can't believe it, how many times can one guy manage to sneak in and repeatedly throw me out of my own bed? I lost my chance for the big leagues thanks to him!'

And yet the femininely sculpted face slept on, and snuggled into the lacy white pillow without a care in the world. "You little wimp…"

"Stop calling me that!" Yuuri snapped.

His fist raised with his temper, but he closed his eyes to get the irritatingly peaceful face from his mind, and held himself back. As a result, the blood vein on his forehead bulged.

'No, don't hit him, hitting would be wrong. But he kicked me out of my own bed! But, there has to be a peaceful solution to this. After I kicked him out! You are a king, a ruler that must master negotiations; start thinking rationally. Why should I?'

"I'm gonna…" Wolram's voice muttered in sleep.

"You're gonna what?!" Yuuri challenged hotly and shot to his knees.

"Go to sleep…" the blond demon-boy turned over and pulled the thick covers over his head. "Keep it down."

More angry red veins pulsed over the boy's head. He plopped down onto the soft rug as his fist shook in eagerness. "Why I oughta…."

Then he stopped, and blinked to stare. Lowering himself brought him into line of sight with the offending foot again. His black eyes trailed up the to the top of the blonde head sticking out of the covers, to the bare, perfectly exposed foot in front of him, and a wicked gleam entered his eyes and he grinned. Solution found.
Wolfram breathed easily in his slumber. He was snuggled contently into the luxurious warmth as his mind drifted in the realm of dreams. Luxury fit for a king. In his dreams, he was happily sparring with his silly little wimp and whipping him into shape.

"C'mon Yuuri, pull it together. You'll never be able to do anything if you can't even fend me off." Wolfram taunted. He struck his sword against the opposing blade, and sent his opponent to his knees.

"Ah, you're right Wolfram." the boy admitted, and looked up at him admiringly. "I can't do anything like you."

Pleased with the compliment, the demon stepped back and stood tall and proud in his sharp blue uniform, golden hair and buttons shining in the sunlight.

"Well, at least you admit it readily." Then his smug expression dropped and his foot fidgeted. "What's that?"

He scuffed and kicked at the ground. He wiggled his boot and pressed the sole of his boot into the dirt.

"Wolfram?" Dream Yuuri asked curiously. "What's the matter?"

"I think there's something in my shoe." Wolfram complained, and finally bit the bullet to remove his boot. His irritated look poofed into one of horror. "A WORM?!" He fell back. "Oh god, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die! The slime of that thing will kill me in thirty seconds! Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

"Er, uh, don't worry Wolfram, I'll get it," Yuuri assured as he neared the foot in such danger.

"Hurry…" Wolfram whined.

In the waking world, the bothered appendage twitched and flicked to try to dispel the source of annoyance. He groaned, just slightly, and his face twitched. "Get it off…"

Yuuri pouted in disappointment. Nothing. He moved his stroking finger up a little to try to wiggle the toes instead.

"Oh no, it's binding my toes now!" Wolfram cried in his dreams. "It'll cut off the blood circulation, then I'll have to get them removed!"

"It's too strong!" Yuuri admitted. "I can't get it off."

"No! I want to keep all my toes!" Wolfram cried, and kicked out his foot to try to be rid of it. In the waking world, this translated to kicking Yuuri in the face again.

For the second time in less than five minutes, the demon king yelped as his face was assaulted. This time at least, he stayed on the mattress. Tears of surprised pain leaked out as he clutched his chin.

"Ow, damn it Wolfram, stop kicking me!"

"Huh?" And the demon-boy's green eyes finally blinked open, and he turned his gaze to the boy holding his jaw. "Yuuri? What're you doing down there?" His face turned into one of suspicion, then accusation, "Were you the one playing with my foot? Do you have some kind of weird foot fetish or something?"

"No!" the boy quickly denied, his eyes wide in sincere protest, "No, no, I swear it wasn't anything weird like that, I was just trying to see if you were ticklish."

In the resounding silence, and Wolfram's shocked stare, the boy realized too late that the words might have been a worse choice to go with.

"Great," the demon finally scoffed. "My fiancé's not just a wimp, a tomcat, and an idiot, he's a weirdo too."

"Don't call me that!" Yuuri huffed automatically. "Any of it! I was just mad at you for kicking me out of my bed, and was trying to get back at you."

"By tickling me? You're wasting your time." He crossed his arms and looked away defiantly. "First of all, I didn't kick you out of the bed, and second, you honestly think I'd still be as weak as a little child at my age? Just what do you take me for?"

"But you did, just a few… You know what, forget it, it doesn't matter." Yuuri groaned and flopped forward on the mattress. "And I had been so close to getting into the big leagues."

"Big leagues?"

The dark haired head didn't turn around to speak up, just raised his hand to wave off the answer. "Don't worry about it." he ended the statement with a dramatic sigh.

Even as the boy breathed out his grief, Wolfram pursed his lips in distaste at the prone form. Honestly, Earth had to have such weird customs for them to have turned out a Maou like him. Already fifteen, and he still acted so carefree and childish, and with such weird values too. The shock of him almost taking part in that "sumo" thing still got to him, and he still had to deal with "baseball" on a daily basis. Not to mention his obsession with justice, and now trying to use tickling as a form of revenge. Why not just push him or something, if he had been so adamant? Then again, Yuuri liked to avoid conflict when necessary, so that was understandable. What on earth would make him even guess that such a fine and sophisticated demon such as himself would even have such a… oh…

And then Wolfram looked slowly at the back of the raven head as a curious scope. "That's right. Yuuri, you're quite ticklish, aren't you?"

"Unfortunately." The boy laughed dejectedly, as he finally turned to face the other boy. One finger pointed up. "I'm supposed to be the fearsome "Demon King," but I'm about as tough and scary as a teddy bear." He sighed and flopped his head on the mattress. "It's the worst, even when people don't do it on purpose I giggle like a schoolgirl. So uncool. Why do I have to be so soft-skinned?" He complained to the bed canopy.

"Oh, are you now?"

Too late did Yuuri hear the eager tone of voice, and look to the side to see the wickedly eager glint in the emerald eyes hovering above. His eyes widened in fear for a moment before jumping off his stomach and leaning back.

"W-Wait, you mean you were actually listening? I was just rambling!" he scuttled back over the folded covers and mattress as Wolfram kept over him. "I mean come on, I didn't think you'd actually- whoa!"

His hands windmilled back as he teetered too far over the edge. One hand landed on the stone ground below to hold himself up, while the other just barely held onto the frame of the bed hidden under the sheets. He sighed in relief as he managed to keep his head up.

"That was a close one." The hand that had been on the frame of the bed rose up to meet Wolfram. "Hey, help me out here."

"Yeah, yeah, sure thing," Wolfram rolled his eyes and took his hand.

Yuuri only smiled back in response. "Thanks. Thought I was a- GAH!"

The grateful smile exploded into laughter as a slender hand played across his pajama-clad belly. And because one little nudge was enough to make him giggle like a school girl, purposeful prods on his sensitive abdomen were enough to make him sound like a hyena. Defense was not even an option.  Wolfram held one arm trapped and stretched above him as his other hand had to remain on the stone to keep him from falling off the bed. The revered and respected demon king bucked and squirmed  as the attacking fingers effectively manipulated the mirth right out of him.

"Wolfram- WOHULFRAHUHUHM!" Yuuri pleaded through his laughter. "I'm gonna fall!"

"Lighten up, it's not like it'd hurt ya." the oddly mischievous demon taunted. "I won't let you fall. Just get back up."

The boy shook his head from side to side and wriggled as much away from the hand as he could manage, but from his trapped position it only succeeded in squirming under those deft fingers. "I can't…" he whined as he gasped.

"Are you serious? Jeez, you're such a wimp."

"Wohuhulfrahuhuhuhm…" he begged. "Don't call me that!"

But his pleads fell on deaf ears. His legs swung and kicked behind the attacker, and he threw his head back, already losing strength to hold himself up. His arm was quickly weakening, and bending to the ground, until he felt Wolfram change tactics and start to burrow into his side instead.

"No!"

He squeaked, flipped over onto his stomach, and hunched over to hold onto the bed frame instead. Though Wolfram still had a hold of his hand, and had it held up to expose his vulnerable side. As a result, he laughed anew at the playful attack at his obliques as the the instruments of torture traveled.

"God not the ribs- not the ribs!" he pleaded, and thumped his free fist against the mattress as his face turned a healthy shade of rosy pink.

His eyes watered with excited tears and his laughter doubled as- heaven help him- Wolfram released his trapped hand. Only to skitter both sides at once. His legs still swung back and forth behind him, but other than that, all he could do was jerk and squirm to resist the onslaught as he held himself up.

"WHYHYHYHY?"

"Why? Well, why not?" Was Wolfram's retort, "Look at you all the time, flirting shamelessly with anything that comes your way, blathering on about annoying things you don't understand, paying more attention to helping those stupid humans instead of me! And then waking me up just to try to kick me out of our own bed?"

"Whahahat?! Its myhihihihi bed!" He tried to glance up at Wolfram behind him, but even that effort was too much, and he fell back to hanging over the edge of the bed in a hysterically shaking and laughing heap. One hand grasped at his tearing face as the other had to go on the floor again. "Th-that- That- doesn't even mahahahake sehehehense!"

"Shut up!" the spoiled boy snapped, and went under the young man's shirt to attack skin instead. "It makes perfect sense! This is revenge!"

Yuuri squealed rather girlishly as a devious finger had entered his navel, "Okay, okay, you win!" He finally gave up and scrambled forward off the bed to escape the torturous hands. He crawled on the stone as he tried to catch his breath. He huffed tiredly. "You… win."

"And just where do you think you're going?" Wolfram complained as he scooted up to come off the bed. "You're not getting away that easily."

"What do you mean, easily?" Yuuri jumped and turned around. "You're torturing me!"

"Suck it up and take it like a man," Wolfram countered, and flexed his fingers tauntingly.

"No!" Yuuri refused, and scrambled up to his feet to make a mad dash for the door.

"Yuuri, come back here!" Wolfram demanded and chased after. "You won't get away!"

Well, the boy wasn't about to give up, even as he was already panting up a storm. He opened the door and ran past the sentry sleeping on duty outside his door. Wolfram was close behind, though not before stopping to kick at the guard.

"Useless! What if someone was going after Yuuri?" He scoffed, before chasing after his fiancé. "Yuuri, come back to bed, you'll wake everyone up."

"You're the one causing trouble." Yuuri shot back, not daring to slow down even as he rounded a corner.

The faithful soldier chasing his king pounded their way down the halls, raising a few sentry heads and stirring a few sleepers. A door opened up. Ken peered out, and yawned tiredly, fixing his glasses briefly before looking down.

"Shibuya, what's all the commotion?" he mumbled in complaint. "Some of us are trying to get a little-"

"Sorry Murata!" Yuuri shot past the boy, earning a hazy-eyed stare. "It's all under control!"

Wolfram's wild manic grin was clear, even as he zoomed past in suit. "You won't get away, Yuuri!"

Ken blinked after the two a moment longer, even as other guards were starting to get a little concerned. As his fiancé, Wolfram was technically on a similar rank of importance as Yuuri… Could they do anything about it? The once Great Mage sighed once before shaking his head and retreating back into his room.

"Not like it's any different from normal. He could at least be considerate of the other people trying to sleep…"

As though a response to his thought, tiny little girl came out of her own room about a hallway down, and rubbed one brown eye sleepily as she peered out.

"Yuuri, is that you?" she murmured and looked down to the direction of the disturbance. "What's that noise-"

"Sorry Greta, go back to bed." he ordered quickly before he disappeared. A call of "Run, run, run, as fast as you can!" followed suit with a blur.

The little girl blinked. "How come I have two Dads, but they're both weird," she murmured to herself. "I guess they like to have fun too." she shrugged and slipped back in.

Yuuri, for his part, was losing steam. He couldn't do this anymore. Too much, too much, he had to keep going-oof. He bounced into a soft wall and fell back onto his rear end on the hard floor. He looked up in confusion at his obstacle. Neat brown hair, a long face, sharp uniform and features radiating paternal protectiveness brightened him considerably.

"Conrad!"

The benevolent being saluted him. "Hello there, Your Majesty." He smiled a little as he teased him lightly. "A little late for games, isn't it?"

Yuuri's bright expression changed bit by bit as he actually looked over the man's form. From the spotless brass buttons and metals to the wrinkle and crease free fabric, he looked ready to appear before a king or march to war. At who knew what time at night.

"Conrad…" Yuuri looked to him dubiously. "Do you ever actually sleep?"

Whatever Conrad's response, it was not to be heard as Yuuri heard the telltale footsteps of Wolfram speeding up to him. A shudder of dread coursed through the boy's body and he jittered before managing to climb up to his feet. Conrad looked at him curiously as he darted behind him for protection. Wolfram came up, and his eager glint melted away into surprise as he was greeted with a different face than expected.

"L-Lord Weller."

"Wolfram." the man looked between the two a moment before finally settling on the messy mop of blonde hair. "Is there any reason you and His Majesty are playing around the castle in the middle of the night?"

"Wolfram's torturing me!" Yuuri complained, and pointed to the demon to emphasize his point.

"Suck it up, and take your punishment like a man, you wimp!"

"Don't call me a wimp!"

"Now now then," Conrad soothed, "I'm sure there's a good explanation. Wolfram, I'm sure whatever his majesty's done doesn't warrant all this excitement."

"I haven't done anything!"

"He deserves worse." Wolfram huffed and crossed his arms. "Honestly, getting this worked up over a harmless little tickle."

"Oh?" Conrad blinked, taken aback at the unexpected information. He glanced down at Yuuri. "Is that what this is all about?"

"It was awful!" the boy protested. "He kept going at me, and wouldn't let up."

"It was your punishment, of course I didn't go easy on you." he huffed. "Not to mention it's such a wimpy Earth method of revenge anyway, I had to make sure the message got across properly."

"You don't do it that much, that's just torture. Its not revenge, its just an evil way for older brothers to get you to do stuff you don't want to do."

"Then why'd you do it to me?"

"You kicked me first, that's different."

As the two argued, Conrad had to stifle his growing laughter behind his hand as he realized what had happened. He couldn't help it, the idea was so ridiculous it was funny. He stopped and straightened at the commanding tone from his king.

"Conrad!"

"Ahem, yes, Your Majesty."

"Do something about him. Throw him the dungeons or something."

"What!? Yuuri, you can't be serious!" his fiancé complained.

Conrad smiled apologetically. And just a little in amusement. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. But Wolfram has not technically broken any laws, no matter how sinister his intent."

"Hey!"

"Well," his commanding tone dropped to lightly desperate pleas, "He tortured me. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Even in this world, tickling is not a recognized form of torture."

Yuuri sighed in defeat and Wolfram smirked triumphantly.

"Like you could be rid of me anyway. Come on, let's go to bed and-"

Yuuri's face brightened in realization and he tapped his fist on his palm. "Ah, that's it."

"What's it?"

"Wolfram, I order you to sleep with him!"

There was some silence as the two brothers stared at him in shock. Wolfram just barely managed to reply.

"Wha…?"

"Sleep with him, in his bed for once." The boy repeated, and grinned at his stroke of genius. "As your King, I order you to sleep in his bed for tonight, instead of mine."

"Yuuri!" the immature demon protested. "That's not right!"

"Why? You don't have a problem sleeping with me. You're brothers, it should be fine."

"But I'm your fiancé," he emphasized, his expression hurt and desperate. "It's not right for siblings to sleep in the same bed at our age."

"Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before torturing me." he repeated stubbornly.

"But-"

"No buts!" He turned away and took three decisive steps forward before nodding to himself in affirmation. "You'll sleep with him tonight, and if you haven't learned your lesson by morning, then you'll sleep with him again."

"What lesson?"

"If I have to tell you, then you'll never learn it." he said all knowingly, smiling as he was faced away from the pair. Yes, if he never told him what "the lesson" was, then he could keep Wolfram out of his bed indefinitely. Then he stopped as he thought about the trouble this might put a certain someone in, and looked to his trusted guardian apologetically. "That is, you don't mind too much, do you, Conrad?"

The man glanced from black to blond a little indecisively before smiling back resignedly. "If its what Your Majesty orders, then I have no objection to it."

"Perfect!" He chirped, and marched happily past them down the hall. "It's settled then. Goodnight, everyone."

The "everyone" he referred to, stared after him. One in dubious horror, the other in bemusement.

"Oh, and Conrad?"

"Yes?"

The boy's black eyes narrowed as a sinister shadow darkened his face. "Make sure he doesn't sleep. By any means necessary."

Though it could be argued the order was unnecessary. Ten minutes later, tucked into Conrart's wide and comfy bed, Wolfram sat straight and upright, arms crossed, body tense, and eyes glowering at his own feet. Conrart contently turned the page of a rather engrossing novel. Engrossing, but unable to block out Wolfram's occasional mumble.

"Can't believe it… just who does he think he is? Treating me like some common soldier… meaning nothing to him… won't even sleep in the same bed…"

"Wolfram."

"What?"

"I'm fairly sure his Majesty will come around again. Lover's quarrels are quite common, no?"

He huffed. "I guess."

"Don't you worry. With a little time, you'll put this whole thing past you. Then you'll be able to get to even more squirrels."

There was an undeniable quiet as Wolfram stopped to let his brain process the words. He looked into the man's expectant face, and sweat, just a bit nervously. He had forgotten how horrid the man's jokes were, because, thankfully, it had been so long since he heard one. He couldn't even find the pity to smile properly. It looked more like he was going to be sick.

"Ahaha, yeah…" he managed, before turning away quickly, and vowing to himself to never give the man a chance to say any jokes like that in public. He was not overly fond of Lord Weller, but he didn't hate the man that much. That was just cruel humiliation.

The rather pathetic comedian looked to Wolfram in pity. It was painful, really. To see his little brother so downtrodden that he couldn't even smile at a little joke. Perhaps this affected him more than he realized. He carefully placed the bookmark between the pages, not even waiting to get to the end of a chapter like he usually did. The book tapped softly on the bedside desk as the man put a consoling arm around his younger bother's shoulders. Said younger brother blinked in surprise.

"I know it seems bad now," the older man soothed, and gave a reassuring squeeze, earning a horrified stare directed at his hand. "But things will be fine with time, you'll see."

The demon turned and stared dryly at the pathetic human form of comfort.

"I appreciate the concern, Lord Weller, but believe me when I say I'm perfectly fine."

"Then go ahead and give me a smile." he challenged.

The boy deadpanned. "I fail to see what that has to do with anything."

"C'mon, just a little smile."

"No."

"C'mon now, Wolfram." and the man did the unthinkable when he pulled the boy against his side by the hand on his shoulder. "There's no need to be bashful here, no one's looking."

Wolfram blushed hotly at the brazen and childishly intimate gesture and glared up at him.

"Lord Weller, this is inappropriate conduct! Release me at once!"

"I am simply following his Majesty's orders," the man said innocently. "He told me not to let you sleep. And you certainly are staying awake now, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I don't think that's what he meant," the rather immature demon growled. "Release me!"

"Not until you smile."

"I refuse."

"Well now, that's not right. You better get that frown off your face young man, otherwise it'll stay that way."

The boy frowned some more in defiance, even as he was trying to remember why those words sounded so familiar. Right up until he felt something slither across his neck, and make him shudder. He instinctively recognized it as Conrart's hand, and leered up at him.

"Lord Weller, what was that?"

"A little test. It seems as though you are still ticklish, even after all these years."

And then he remembered where he'd heard that phrase before. It was the statement his mother always made when she was holding him and he'd been pouting playfully, just to get her to-

The hand tickled along his spine, and he scrunched his shoulders in reaction despite himself.

-do that. The point was to try not to smile or laugh, and he had loved being tickled when he was little. Well, he had come to hate the degrading act over the years, but the game had always been fun to play with her. Conrart must have seen it himself many times to have remembered it too. Crap, he thought he had outgrown that. Wolfram turned to try to leer as firmly as he could.

"Lord Weller, this isn't the time for silly child's games."

"Then just smile."

"I told you, that doesn't have anything to do with this." he  looked away stubbornly. "I'll smile when I'm good and ready to."

"Oh? That doesn't sound too convincing."

And Conrad sealed the boy's fate by lightly scuttling his finger's along the sensitive skin of the boy's neck. A tiny squeak went through his throat, and he scrunched his shoulders again.

"Lord Weller, s-stop!"

"Was that a smile I heard?"

The boy kept his face and  twitching mouth away as the hand moved from behind his neck to the dip of the shoulder. "No!"

"Well, alright then," the surprising and shockingly devious man moved his arm down to embrace the boy, pinning his arms to his side as the other free hand tickled just along the back of the shoulder. "Just tell me when you're ready."

"Lord Weller!"

But his protests went unheard as the man's fingers teased his neck. He bit his lip as it pulled into an unwilling grin, and he squirmed against him, trying to shake off the mischievous hand. He burst into giggles as the hand skittered along the side of his neck.

"L-Lord Weller!" The demand was hardly audible through the almost squeaking giggles. "Stop, it's humiliating!" He burst into laughter as the fingers went down the trail of his spine. "C-Conrart!"

"Are you going to smile?"

"No!" he defiantly refused though his laughter.

"Well then, I have no choice. I'll just have to keep tickling you until you smile."

And he did. Wolfram's face soon grew to be the same shade Yuuri's had been not too long ago, though he wasn't laughing hard enough to have tears. He wiggled, and pulled away for all he was worth, but he never pushed Conrart away from him. As a result, he remained in Conrad's arm until he was tortured to death. Wolfram now finally understood the wise words of his king about evil brothers.

"Jeez Wolfram, what's with you?" Yuuri asked.

Dark circles bagged under the demon's usually bright green eyes, and he glowered at the one who started it all. He stepped up and jabbed his finger into his chest.

"This is all your fault! If it hadn't been for you, he never would have gotten the stupid idea in his head!"

"What idea?" Yuuri blinked, completely confused. "What are you talking about?"

And Wolfram had to stop and think about this, because if he told him, that would be revealing his weakness. So they had a temporary staring contest out in the courtyard, Yuuri frozen in his stretch to the sky as Wolfram internally debated his need for out letting his anger, and the preservation of his dignity.

"Nothing," he grumbled and turned away to stalk back to his duties with a completely confused king staring after him. "Forget it."

That would be one secret at least that he would keep and take to his grave.